My Shiny Floor!

It’s the weekend. Well, technically not… I quit my job two days ago, after endless battles with my heart and brain about leaving a place that was causing me lots of stress, depression, and self-worth questioning. My job had every aspect of a toxic work environment; poor communication, office drama, and backbiting. Add to that a bully character. I guess I will be on a “weekend” for a long time now.

I had breakfast and then cleaned my apartment – it’s been long due. Although I vacuumed the floor and cleaned the tables on weekdays after work, it was always done in a rush, especially on short winter days. I would be drained by the time the sun went down. But it seemed reasonable enough as most of the hair and dust was gone. On weekends, I would feel so tired, thinking of work still, sleep-deprived over the continuous negativity I got, depressed over the thought of a coming Monday. This time, I cleaned the tables, vacuumed all corners, and wiped the floor. After the first wipe, I looked at the cloth all covered in heavy gray dust and thought, “Wow! That’s a lot” it disgusted me. I took another clean cloth and cleaned again; it was slightly better than the first time, but still quite a lot. I was shocked! I mean, it didn’t look like it. It didn’t look sparkly clean, but clean enough for you to walk on it barefoot.

After I was done cleaning, I opened the blinds and the windows for fresh air. The sunlight hit the floor; it was gleaming! It motivated me to read and write some poetry with a cup of warm green tea, something that I haven’t done since I started working. As the words began to flow, my eyes suddenly glanced at the shine on the floor, making me realize how neglectful I was of the small things that mattered. In a strange way, it made me realize how neglectful I was of my inner self, my feelings, and my general health and also motivated me to write this and share it with you.

You might read this thinking that I’m crazy. How is this all connected? And what’s the big deal about the shiny floor? Here’s the thing: sometimes, we as humans tend to neglect our hearts and emotions, thinking of items from the surface. We hear that deep whisper in our hearts crying for help when something isn’t right. Still, we neglect it and treat it with a temporary solution like watching a movie or listening to a song to feel better in that very moment. When we feel slightly better, we think it’s good enough and leave it there just like I did with my apartment. It was only after I did some deep cleaning that I realized the buildup of these dusty layers. It made me realize that my heavy heart was just like that floor, covered with negativity and guilt, which didn’t allow me to shine. After I gave attention to my heart and removed its heaviness by quitting a job that was harming me deep inside, I could write again. I was able to smile and laugh and move on.

Your heart is the most intelligent part of your body; in fact, your heart started beating before your brain developed. Of course, we all understand the importance of using our brains, but the thing is, our brains sometimes drive us with fear. It thinks about the consequences, the ifs, the buts, and the “logic.” though that is very important, sometimes you have to let your heart lead the way, pay attention to its whispers because no matter how good something might look, if it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not right. Pay very close attention, let it speak to you, stop looking at things from the surface, look harder, trust that your heart will take you where you need to go. Let it guide your path.